This Day in Infamy: Win, Lose, Draw

A newsworthy moment from February 9, 1871

Breaking News: Criminal Mastermind Is Accused of Wearing Court-Ordered GPS Monitor to Commit Murder

Andre Johnson, the absentminded accused

An Indianapolis man is accused of murdering his childhood best friend in an argument over a woman. And, police say, he wore a court-ordered GPS monitor to the crime scene, documenting his presence.

According to reports, 29-year-old Andre Johnson was wearing a GPS bracelet due to a previous criminal conviction when he drove to Indy’s Carriage House East Apartments last Sunday night. After lying in wait for two hours, Johnson allegedly ambushed his childhood best friend Marlin Kiser, also 29, firing at least eight shots at the man before fleeing. Kiser, a father of three, was pronounced dead at the scene.

Unfortunately for Johnson, IMPD detectives were able to locate security camera footage showing the shooter leaving the scene in a 2006 Ford F-150 truck that they were later able to tie to him. Even more unfortunately for the accused, he apparently failed to take his own GPS monitor into account when committing the murder. Police say the data provided by the monitor proves he was in the area for two hours prior to the shooting.

Johnson is being held without bond in the Marion County Jail. Although he’s been booked on a preliminary charge of murder, formal charges are still pending.

The victim, Marlin Kiser

Weird News: The Hot Pocket Bandit

Brian McCurren, a.k.a. The Hot Pocket Bandit, shown in a 2014 photo.

Back in March of 2014, former Notre Dame student Brian McCurren got a little too intoxicated and broke into a South Bend spa. Once inside Theraputic Indulgence, he caused thousands of dollars of damage then ate all of their Hot Pockets.

Image may not accurately reflect the actual Hot Pockets in question.

According to police, Brian McCurren made several break-in attempts before successfully throwing a 100-pound flowerpot through the door. Once inside the spa’s breezeway, he then found a hammer and tunneled his way through the drywall into the main part of the business.

He must have really wanted those Hot Pockets.

After reenacting digDug and discharging a fire extinguisher for unknown reasons, Brian was a very hungry boy who decided it was a good time to make himself a snack or three. He tried to make macaroni and cheese but burned it, setting off the fire alarm. Then he ate all of the spa’s Hot Pockets, which begs the question what kind of spa serves Hot Pockets? Finally, he attempted to eat a plate of drumsticks but passed out on top of them first, which is where police found him.

“The way I understand it,” Sara ros Frazier, owner of the spa said, “he had a grin on his face and he had no idea where he was or what he did.”