Christian Horton, 27: a man both prematurely aged and exceedingly stupid.
An Indiana man was arrested over the weekend after inquiring at a local business about his lost meth.
Christian Horton, proud citizen of Madison and an early frontrunner for 2023’s Criminal Mastermind of the Year Award, allegedly misplaced his bag of methamphetamine last Saturday. Later that same day, an employee of a local business whose bathroom Horton had patronized found the drugs and called police.
That’s where the matter probably would have ended, if Horton weren’t a complete and total idiot.
The twenty-seven year old apparently decided to retrace his steps in search of his stash and soon returned to the unnamed business – where he was caught on security cameras asking if anyone had, perhaps, turned in his crank to the Lost and Found.
Police caught up with Horton via a traffic stop the next day. He was in possession of more meth at the time of his arrest.
Horton’s initial hearing is scheduled for Tuesday.
Video of the 2019 brawl involving three Indiana judges was released this week, once again reminding everyone once that nothing positive can come from being at a White Castle after 3 AM.
According to court testimony, Clark County Circuit Court judges Andrew Adams and Brad Jacobs, as well as Crawford County Circuit Court Judge Sabrina Bell, were visiting Indianapolis in May of that year for a judicial conference. The night before the conference, they decided to have some drinks and to see the sites – namely, the Red Garter strip club. Unfortunately, the booty bar was already closed when they arrived…which is how they wound up at an adjacent White Castle instead.
While a fourth member of their group, Clark County Magistrate William Dawkins, went inside for a sack of sliders, the others waited out on the sidewalk. Security cameras caught the intoxicated trio’s antics as Adams and Jacobs then proceeded to mimic an exotic dance for Bell. Judge Adams even went so far as to flash his Honor’s manboobs. Twice.
Things only went downhill from there.
Alfredo Vazquez (23) and his uncle Brandon Kaiser (41) drove into the White Castle parking lot a moment later. As they passed the judges, one of the men yelled something out the window, which motivated Bell to give them the finger.
Vazquez parked the SUV, and both he and Kaiser exited the vehicle. Words were exchanged. The confrontation abruptly turned physical when, the Indiana Commission on Judicial Qualifications later determined, Judge Adams and Judge Jacobs rushed Kaiser and Vazquez, setting off a 2v2 brawl. The very public fight ended with Kaiser shooting Jacobs two times in the chest and Adams once in the abdomen.
Fortunately, both judges recovered from their extensive injuries. Multiple criminal charges were filed in connection with the melee.
Andrew Adams, the only judge charged and whose blood alcohol content was 0.157 upon his admission to the hospital, pleaded guilty to one count of misdemeanor battery. He was sentenced to 365 days, with two days credited for jail time served and 363 days suspended. In addition, the Indiana Supreme Court decided he should be suspended without pay for judicial misconduct. He later lost his bid for reelection.
As part of a plea agreement, Alfredo Vazquez pleaded guilty to a single charge of battery. He received 180 days of home detention plus another year on probation for violating his already-existing probation.
Sabrina Bell did not face any criminal repercussions, although she was also suspended without pay. Then, earlier this year in a completely separate event, she was arrested and charged with domestic battery in the presence of a child, a Level 6 felony. The high court suspended her again. Rather than face another ethics probe, Bell agreed to resign, forfeit her law license for 150 days, and to not “seek or accept judicial office in Indiana state courts in the future.”
Gunman Brandon Kaiser was recently found guilty of four counts of aggravated battery, two counts of battery, battery, and carrying a handgun without a license. He is expected to be sentenced in October.
Why is it whenever the phrase “Indiana man” appears in the news, it’s never about anything good?
44-year-old Indiana man Shaun Ray Deaton, of Bloomington, was arrested Tuesday evening after allegedly vandalizing the Washington Monument. According to details in the affidavit filed by the United States Park Police, Deaton is accused of defacing our nation’s most phallic public memorial by using red paint to scrawl “Have you been f**ked by this” (with an arrow pointing up) and “Gov says tough shit” on its marble base. Perhaps not coincidentally, he reportedly had a paint brush in his possession and red paint on his clothes when apprehended at the scene.
After pleading not guilty to initial charges of trespassing, tampering and vandalism, the suspect was released and ordered to return for an October 11th hearing.
Although no official motive has been given, Deaton’s brother said he was recently laid off and denied disability.
Indiana Infamy 