#IndianaMan Arrested After Inquiring About His Lost Meth

Christian Horton, 27: a man both prematurely
aged and exceedingly stupid.

An Indiana man was arrested over the weekend after inquiring at a local business about his lost meth.

Christian Horton, proud citizen of Madison and an early frontrunner for 2023’s Criminal Mastermind of the Year Award, allegedly misplaced his bag of methamphetamine last Saturday. Later that same day, an employee of a local business whose bathroom Horton had patronized found the drugs and called police.

That’s where the matter probably would have ended, if Horton weren’t a complete and total idiot.

The twenty-seven year old apparently decided to retrace his steps in search of his stash and soon returned to the unnamed business – where he was caught on security cameras asking if anyone had, perhaps, turned in his crank to the Lost and Found.

Police caught up with Horton via a traffic stop the next day. He was in possession of more meth at the time of his arrest.

Horton’s initial hearing is scheduled for Tuesday.

DNR Seeks Hunters Who Shot Caretaker

Authorities are asking for the public’s help to identify the people who maliciously shot the caretaker of a Union County property.

According to the Indiana Department of Natural Resources, the incident occurred in the early morning hours of Friday, January 6th, when the caretaker found four hunters illegally hunting on private property. An argument ensued, which led to the caretaker receiving a single non-life threatening gunshot wound.

Other details are scarce due to DNR officers withholding key information – such as the exact location of the property, its owner, and the caretaker’s identity – in order to preserve the integrity of the investigation.

Anyone with information concerning this case or the possible identities of the hunters should call Conservation Officer Central Dispatch @ 812-837-9536, or leave an anonymous tip at 800-TIP-IDNR (800-847-4367).

Child Abducted from Scott County School

Brittany Hurtt, 34, was arrested on a variety of charges
stemming from the kidnapping.

A woman was arrested yesterday after police say she abducted a child from an Indiana elementary school.

According to a statement from Scott County District 1 Superintendent Trevor Jones, the woman who was later identified as Austin resident Brittany Hurtt, 34, gained access to the second-grader by jumping a fence. After snatching the girl from the playground, Hurtt reportedly fled with the child.

The little girl was returned safely, something Jones credits to the quick thinking of both staff and local law enforcement.

“Our staff notified the office, who notified our school resource officer who notified the local police,” Jones said. “And fortunately, we had the student back within minutes. The adult was arrested within minutes. We are very fortunate that the student is physically fine.”

Hurtt – who apparently is not related to the child she abducted – was charged with kidnapping, resisting law enforcement, battery resulting in bodily injury to a public safety official, criminal tresspass, and public nudity.

Superintendent Jones said Hurtt was fully-clothed when she was at the school.

The motive for abducting the child is currently unknown.